Bill Zebub  

A death metal fan with a warped sense of humor that runs the Grimoire of Exalted Deeds 'zine and provokes death metal band members in interviews with amusing, twisted questions. Besides psychology, another of his hobbies is making cheap, trashy, subversive and politically-incorrect comedies containing nudity, offensive humor, sick and moderately clever twists, and wicked sleaze or horror. In other words, he makes home-made, very low-budget, in-your-face, badly-acted, terrible movies with his friends and naked metal-chicks for laughs but you have to get past the fact that his movies are so terrible in order to enjoy them. Also releases metal documentaries and interviews, some moderately amusing movies about losers and drugs (Bad Acid, Metalheads), and endless dull fetish montages of crucified or tied up naked girls (Crucifier, Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist, Frankenstein The Rapist). Finally, he also makes mostly lame but verbally sadistic rape-oriented movies with flat acting and tons of nudity (Kill the Scream Queen, Breaking Her Will, Rape is a Circle, Forgive Me For Raping You, Disgruntled Employee, Captive Audience, etc) some of which are reviewed here, except he seems to have lost himself in this sleaze in all his more recent output and hasn't looked back since. Reviewed until 2016. (Homepage)

Of Some Interest

Antfarm Dickhole  
It seems Zebub finally got tired of repeating himself and decided to go all out weird, pick a concept and run with it no matter how silly. The concept in question is insects using people as hosts. And I'll give you one guess as to what body part they use for their front door. And so, an insecure man hounded by bullies goes on a revenge spree by killing everyone's girlfriends using swarms of ants from his penis. The vastly intelligent ideas explored here include what happens when ants interpret oral sex as an attack, or when a rival ant colony in another human meet during sex, or how to make use of an anteater to fight back. The movie is full of truly terrible puns, grammar corrections, and unbelievably silly exchanges between a near-OCD Zebub and his girlfriend, or with female scientists in bikinis. This one is so bad, words fail me on what new depths it finds. This will leave mouths agape, you won't believe what you are watching, and scene after scene of new ridiculous silliness will make your brain explode, until you burst out laughing, and then the cycle will begin again. And that is why you should watch this.

Jesus, the Total Douchebag  
With a title like that you should already know what you are getting into. But it's a Zebub production, so knowing isn't enough. Not since 'Life of Brian' has blasphemy been this silly and outrageous. Neither has it ever been this retarded. But that's one of the 'charms' of Zebub, he mixes retarded and clever humor and pads it with silliness and nudity. The opening scene of the 'virgin' naked Mary complaining about losing her babies while getting it on with a huge penis from heaven as well as a black rapist, sets the tone of the movie. Bill delivers another of his silly loser characters as Jesus who just wants to get laid while yelling 'oh myself! and not have to go through all this crucifixion stuff. So he rants about various things, pokes satirical jabs at Christianity, offers historical insights that are part retarded part provocative, improvises silliness with naked girls, and gets a blind girl to undress in order to receive his light. All the while, his black half-brother is trying to mug Roman senators, Oderus Urungus undermines things as Satan, and Mary Magdalene is encouraged to work on the Sabbath for a sex-coupon. Features the usual Zebub naked crucified girls and dancing voluptuous metal-chicks, and a hodge-podge of underground music. The follow-up amusingly silly and blasphemous movie is called "Jesus, the Daughter of God", featuring a slutty airheaded stripper taking over the body of Jesus and making the Apostles and Romans do all kinds of bad and naughty things.

Kill the Scream Queen  
A one-trick, somewhat clever self-referential joke movie that features Zebub himself advertising for scream queens (with no experience) to star in his horror movie, only to abuse each victim in different ways before killing her for being mere talentless breasts and ruining horror movies. "Fans will think this is just another bad horror movie but will find out it's all real snuff" says the bemused sadistic killer who wears masks and explains to each victim what he is trying to prove. This premise is ruined by the bad ending and weak acting however. Constant nudity and wicked sleaze with some death metal. Followed later by the similar "Ravage the Scream Queen" which features another couple of film-makers raping and filming and killing wannabe starlets. Zebub later made many more tiresome rape-exploitation movies with similar sleazy approaches but this was his first.

A biting satire on racism and stereotypes wrapped in silly toilet humor and gratuitous nudity to ensure people don't take it seriously. Various racist metal-heads rant against blacks and Latinos while being stereotyped by company executives and violent politically-correct gangs. Bill is a loser racist who is beaten to death then comes back as a Negro and spends the whole movie over-acting entertainingly in silly black paint and horrible baggy clothes. Another guy rants and raves and takes revenge on his violent girlfriend by defecating on the floor because he can't hit her back. There's office-Nazi humor where people's phone calls and bathroom breaks are monitored and controlled, lots of truly gratuitous nudity by metal-chicks, many rants about Ebonics and the effects of Negro culture, and several funny vignettes. Amusing, edgy but silly satire.

Worst Horror Movie Ever Made, The  
After studying what makes terrible horror movies horribly painful, Zebub condenses this encyclopedic knowledge into one movie and gives each cliche a silly twist of his own. Terrible acting, continuity errors, cheese, very cheap special effects and stupidity are only the beginning. Bad puns, silly bad guys, sudden jumps in plot-lines, and general z-movie torture all serve to amuse for a while before you can't take anymore halfway through this fast-moving movie. Highlights include a gingerbread man made of excrement, zom-bees, rednecks with killer bats, 500-foot pregnant women brought down by laser, a serial killer with huge eyebrows, and a brutally violent banana peel.


Breaking Her Will  
Zebub tried a serious movie about abuse before in Rape is a Circle with dire results. Here he makes his own version of a Japanese Pinku. I.e. full-on exploitation and constant nudity involving a disturbed man who abducts a woman and trains her into submission using verbal and physical abuse, rape, and humiliating terms of imprisonment. There's a psychological turn towards the end, making this comparable to Scrapbook, except it isn't as disturbing. This feels like an attempt at a disturbing movie by a mind not so much disturbed, but more into verbal sadism for self-amusement. The acting by him is passable, but below average for her.

Crucifier, The  
This is your brain on acid while trying to film a horror movie revolving around your fetish for crucified girls. An incoherent rambling mess about some guys and girls that have an acid party with ghoulish masks, who in no time are spouting pretentious dialogue with references to the bible and satanism, with attempts at blasphemy, rambling about powers, writing a new gospel, being Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene, and the crucifixion. Spliced with this are endless scenes of naked chicks on crosses and some horrible choices in soundtrack music. The ending tries to wrap it all in a context of a conventional horror story about a killer, but this is as bad as it gets. Zebub's other dull movies 'Frankenstein The Rapist' and 'Jesus Christ: Serial Rapist' feature a similar one-note fetish for crucified girls and rambling dialogue.

A supposedly comedic portrayal of a bunch of metal losers terribly acted by Bill and friends who romp from one random scene to another, having fun but not being very funny. In between long silly rants and dialogue, Bill delivers a long speech at his class about the impossibility of Santa Clause, while feeding a fellow student acid and raping her in the bathroom, another lamer taunts his father with arguments against Jesus, another gets raped by his boss and a flamingly gay pizza man, and random scenes of gratuitous nudity are thrown in. Good music, but a messy, trashy bore of a movie.

Dolla Morte  
Move over Team America. OK, maybe not. Bush, Jesus, Saddam, Hitler, the SS Enterprise, the Pope, Dracula, some warriors and a dozen impaled naked female dolls are all involved in a massive historical conspiracy and plot involving armageddon and the Antichrist. But this movie is really just about watching a bunch of twisted perverts playing with dolls for over an hour as they have them perform gory deaths, hardcore porn, violence, blasphemy, politically incorrect rants, etc. It may have been sick and silly fun but it's just too messy, constantly jumping from one short silly joke scene to another, and therefore gets old fast.

Scienceless Fiction  
Some movies find new ways to be beyond terrible. As in, obnoxiously and painfully terrible, not amusingly so. This is not even a real movie. Just a series of scenes that were too terrible to be used even in Zebub's other terrible movies. The idea that Star Trek was overly politically-correct was perhaps the 'inspiration' for this one, which is just a mix of nonsensical racist rants and humor, the usual stable of Zebub trashy girls stark naked shown in unflattering close-ups in the most unflattering lighting possible, random references to teleportation, alien worlds, lasers and robots, random silly scenes of people improvising whatever comes to their silly minds, $1 toys used as props for the 'epic' action scenes, 'rape' scenes, naked girls in slow motion fights, a racist clown, Zebub's cartoonish black-face character, a futuristic Hitler, and so on. Zebub hasn't been funny for a while now ever since he started churning out movies by the dozen just as excuses to film naked girls. The follow-up movie "Nightmare on Elmo's Street" is a similar collection of completely random silly and dumb sketches against the theme of various muppet creatures, rapist puppets and monster stuffed animals, except it's much more silly than weird.

Absolutely terrible comedy skits by a moronic mind on heavy drugs. This is beyond bottom of the barrel; this is the worm feeding on the mould in the cracks of an old barrel. We get a student from hell in an evolution class performing stupid magic pranks, a lame office skit based on a stupid pun on the phrase 'bone to pick', a psychotic pizza dude that cooks teenage girls, argues about the skin-benefits of butter vs. margarine with his victim before being attacked by a toy bird, a moronic killer-teddy-bear script, a super-annoying gym session, a chaotic bizarre scene involving ass-kicking spinach-eating skanks and a sodomizing supernatural being with pink hair, metalheads performing as the Three Stooges, and others.

Stereotypes Don't Just Disappear Into Thin Air (AKA Most Offensive Comedy Ever Made)  
Zebub's early foray into racist humor, exploring bigotry, chauvinism and all related issues by creating humorous situations with stereotypes. This includes a man in blackface and over-the-top Ebonics, a Jew who keeps trying to push or trick people in petty financial deals, women as whores, Italian mafiosos, Christian perverts, and random foreigners or Nazis. A couple of chuckles, but mostly a dull and trashy movie that seems to be trying too hard to offend or make fun rather than to make a point.

Worst Horror Movie Ever Made: The Re-Make  
Although this uses a lot of the props and ideas from the original, this 'remake' is quite different in tone and approach. Once again, Zebub puts together an endless sequence of bad horror scenes, this time with extra super-offensive and lame content. Bill and his girl wander from scene to scene, encountering a serial killer that makes bad axe puns, a shit-demon, Muslim terrorist stereotypes, liquid that turns her into a 500-foot giant, mad scientists obsessed with fetuses, gay rapist soldiers, the second coming of Jesus with all the juvenile and offensive puns that can be made about this, violent backwoods hillbillies that play violent games with bats, huge spiders, zom-bees, rapist-killer Laurel and Hardy dolls, lesbian vampires after menstruation, sodomizing trees, etc. Other offensive gags include fetus nunchakus, oral rape by Jesus and a new use for crucifixion wounds, Twin Tower humor, and much more, not to mention that all women spend the entire movie either in underwear or nude. This time it was just too long, lame and endless though, without the entertaining spoofing aspects of the original.

Yet another terrible outing from the Zebub factory, this one about obscure reinterpretations of the story of Christ, like a really bad version Da Vinci Code, except this one revolves around the idea of Christ as a 'zombie'. Plenty of nonsensical historical narratives and esoteric ideas are thrown around, but it's really just another excuse to film naked girls writhing while a gooey thorn-wearing skeleton extracts their life essence, or, in one case, extracts a communal wafer from her intestines via her anus. Also included are extended X-rated scenes of a Christ-skeleton raping a nun, or performing torturous oral sex on a priest, and of course, it wouldn't be a Zebub movie without a gratuitous montage of naked girls on a cross, and death/doom/black metal songs played in their entirety on the soundtrack. Almost never funny, which makes this terrible movie a really tiresome watch.

1999- by The Worldwide Celluloid Massacre Table of Contents